When it comes to what a web surfer is going to find attractive, interesting or valuable, there is no shortage of discussion and opinions on exactly what works or the best way to present it. You can ask a hundred different people what they think and you will get a hundred different answers; all of them, of course, correct.
One thing that is always agreed upon, however, is what drives a web surfer away; the amazingly annoying (and somehow still overused) bad designs, over the top advertising tactics and poorly planned programming.
It doesn’t matter where the surfer is coming from. He could be sitting at home with his laptop, just looking to relax and read about a band. He could be at the office sneaking a peek at something he really shouldn’t be doing on work time. He could be sitting on the subway trying to fight off boredom with his phone.
Normally it would be considered difficult to get a unified reaction out of these different users with the same piece of content, but if you do it right, if you really nail it, you can get them all to leave your site like a bolt of lightning and never come back.
So here are the top 5 ways to get a web surfer off your site in record time. If you are utilizing any of the tactics or designs listed here, you should not only have your web operating license revoked, you should be forced to bend over and take a swift kick in the ass from every web user you’ve ever tortured with your ignorance and arrogance.
Auto Played Sound
There is nothing worse than being jolted out of whatever zombified state one might be in, or worse, being outed in front of coworkers, by some unexpected automated sound coming from a web site. If whatever noise coming from your site actually plays for more than 2 seconds it’s only because my computer was lagging for some reason and the first back button click didn’t register.
Using an ad network on your site that may or may not play sounds is no excuse. You make the ultimate decision. If you allow it, it’s your fault and I hate you with every ounce of my being.
If you’ve actually made the conscious decision to play some sort of song or movie clip on your own, god help you. How did you make it this far?
50 Facts On 50 Pages
What in the world made you think it would be a good idea to break things down into 50 images with 2 sentence explanations and then put each individual item on a separate page?
Ah yes, the ad impressions. I can smell your brain smoking over there, “Hmm…If I can fit two ads on one page, I can do 100 on 50 pages.”
You see how that works? I know what you’re doing, and so does everyone else. You’re not fooling anyone. You’re annoying everyone. If there’s one item on the page and it’s already asking me to click next, I’m gone. The average web surfer is not a drooling idiot. We know when you’re playing us for a fool.